Offensive Response

Overview
   Immature Behavior
   Background
   Assumptions
   Personal Thoughts
   How to Change

Parenting Response
   Defensive
   Offensive
   Absent
   Present
Offensive Response: A planned response given during moments of predicted conflict, chaos, or immaturity that uses parts of the higher/rational/logical areas of the brain.
 
A More Detailed Explanation
Offensive Response = a pre-planned response, or coping habit, used to process unresolved defensive energy after the body detects information that the brain remembers as a previous threat, or negative experience, in the past. The offensive response uses primarily the higher brain (logical, imagination, movement, and pre-motor circuits) and is intended to protect the body from experiencing a future unpleasant, non-homeostatic, moment. The offense response uses parts of the prefrontal cortex, but not in a mature way if the intent is to manage someone else's immature behavior.

Fearing, or “remembering” (consciously or subconsciously), the negative emotions associated with a past unresolved heightened defensive response is the primary motivation for displaying an offensive response. The body naturally wants to protect itself against similar future threats.

When the offensive response is used repeatedly to counteract the defensive response, deeper patterns of emotional coping develop, including bitterness, blame, revenge, apathy, rebellion, depression, and exhaustion.

In parenting, a “successful” offensive response (where the parent effectively “controls” the child’s actions via unnatural rewards and punishments) yields addictive parental pride and addictive child defensiveness, or coping patterns. An “unsuccessful” offensive response (where parent and child engage in an emotional back and forth battle with a confusing blend of offensive and defensive responses) also leads to deeper coping patterns in both parent and child.

Typical parenting behaviors associated with an offensive response include time-out, grounding, threats, withholding privileges, lecturing, ignoring, blocking out, and many other pre-meditated and unnatural reward and punishment variations that are intended to control a child’s actions for them.