A key foundational aspect of implementing the Present Parenting Pyramid is mindfulness. So you’ll hear me talk a lot about controlling yourself more so than controlling your child.

Think about it: If I am often in a highly reactive state, then whatever I do to manage situations will feel dominant, controlling, and selfish to my child because it IS. Disciplining my child habitually becomes a regular tool to give MY body balance. This makes my child’s need to self-defend increase, which can cause a downward spiral in brain development instead of upward.

However, if I am truly mindful (accepting of and at peace with the present moment despite the need for improvement in my child’s behavior) then my disciplinary actions will send a message of awareness, confidence, responsibility, and wise correction. Even as situations call for me to contain my child’s behavior in any way--maybe I have to restrain a child from running through the library or pry a toy away that was stolen from a sibling--my leadership becomes selfless, not selfish IF I am mindful.

So how does one improve mindfulness enough to survive the marathon that parenting is? Trust me, I’m still figuring that out!

But I do know it’s important to take time to Focus on ME.

Yes. Give yourself permission to fill your own bucket. Yet there’s a catch. Remember that as a parent, the water in your bucket is not all for you. When you are off collecting nourishment for your soul, it is with the purpose of sharing your replenishment when you return. Your innocent children are depending on you.

So the “ME” in Focus on ME stands for “Mindfulness Exercises”. It reminds me that carefully focusing on hobbies and activities that strengthen me as a person and inspire me to be a better mother is more rejuvenating than running off and feeling entitled to time for myself without considering my true parental purpose in doing so. My favorite ME time ideas include forms of meditation, enjoying nature, talking with a friend, and collecting brain articles. What recharges you enough to keep giving?