“Play is the work of childhood,” said child development genius #jeanpiaget

“Play is the work of the child,” said Maria #montessori

“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children, play is serious learning,” said #fredrogers

Considering these expert opinions and the fact that our modern world functions because adults are expected to dedicate a minimum of 40 hours each week to work, shouldn't we place high value on a full work-week of play for our children? 

Now my goal in this post is not to declare a certain number of hours as the "right” amount of playtime. Circumstances are different in every household and 40 hours is a symbolic number that emphasizes the value we tend to place on adult work.

My goal is to ease your mind if your child is fighting to play longer. 

My goal is to encourage you to stop punishing your child if they crave a new project and then resist cleaning up the remnants. 

My goal is to help you appreciate the drive children build up in their brains as they jump from activity to activity without worrying about what the house looks like afterwards. 

Developmentally, it's totally normal--and even critical to future brain balance--for Attachment Stage (~ages 0-3) and Following Stage (~ages 1-8) kids to spend hours and hours absorbing the world around and using it to process imaginative ideas without caring much at all about long-term consequences for their actions quite yet. 

The desire to play A LOT is not a sign that your child will become a delinquent adult. Rather, it’s a sign of persistence, creativity, and initiative. So children don’t need timeouts or loss of privileges or dirty looks or snide remarks for making a mess when they play...even if they don’t want to clean it up. They just need adults who lead in setting wise limits that still favor playtime or who lend a helping hand without holding grudges or who conduct creative clean-up games with no strings attached.

Stop and think about how much you value playtime. Can your child tell that you value playtime as an incredibly important part of their weekly work routine? What are you doing to send that message?

It’s so tempting to worry that children won’t be successful unless we make them work hard. Perhaps that’s why schoolwork, chores, and talent development get sooooo much emphasis in our society.

But have you ever stopped your adult work long enough to watch a child play? Talk about hard work! I’ve tried to keep up and I have a hard time lasting more than 15 minutes. 🥴 Children can play for hours if we let them. It’s amazing. It’s extraordinary. And it works their brains like crazy.

I think what I love the most about playtime is that kids get to choose for themselves which direction to take their bodies. Indeed the consistent initiative, enduring determination, imaginative problem solving, and moral resolve that playtime provides is prefrontal cortex development at its finest. While children still need mindful adults setting limits that ensure their health and safety, children don't need their desire for constant play squashed by adult expectations.

Here's a thought that may help you find a better balance:

Many disciplinary battles happen because parents feel an urge to limit children from playing in order to make sure they get enough "successful" work done. Ironically, commanding children to work tends to use only their animalistic brain in order to survive complying.

So perhaps successful work should be re-defined as that which uses pretty much the WHOLE brain. And in children, that's playtime.

How would the modern parent/child relationship thrive if a parent's hope was to carefully and mindfully limit academic and household rigor to adequately preserve their child's free-thinking playtime?

As a child feels their parent standing up for whole-brain development, doesn't that increase relationship trust? And can't a parent feel full confidence that a child who develops their entire brain will--in due time--naturally and wisely prioritize an adult work-life balance necessary for success?

Yes, preserving playtime is a win-win at our house.

In conclusion, as the world starts to get busy again and revamp what a typical day and week looks like, be aware of your priorities. Is playtime one of them?